Set Me Free with RelayHealth

I'm Telly. You know, the one you’ve had on call for the past couple of decades? You didn’t even know my name, did you? Oh, you guys really knew how to push my buttons, what with your constant yakking, and your weird hang-ups. Then you say you don’t like my best friend, Bill, even though he only came by once a month. Well, it’s time we parted ways. I’m moving back in with my Ma, Belle. She’s got a finished basement where I can hook up any time. And I’ll finally have the freedom to pursue my true calling: talk show host.
	I'm Paige, and I’m a little peeved. And don’t even try to tell me to change my toner. I’m just being honest. I’m tired, my rollers hurt, and my cartridge aches. I really should have retired by now, but I’ll tell you what: Just hand me my pink slip. Really. I’ll even send it to the unemployment office myself. Sure, it’ll be hard to read, but what do you expect from me? I’m old, inefficient, and I just want to spend some time with the family…my wife Mimeo and little girl c.c. Please, I beg you—set me free.
I'm Phyllis, and I’ve been into drugs since I was just a pulp. But you haven’t made it easy on me. The way you ripped me apart, then sent me off to live with one pharmacist after another. Sure, sure, everyone signed off on this little “agreement,” but that doesn’t mean it was right. At the end of the day, I felt like a piece of trash. Toward the end, I know I wasn’t as efficient as I could have been…but if you’d just taken the time to spell it out for me… Well, I’m tired of it. I need a long vacation, somewhere where I can get a refill of self-respect.
	I'm Turner. My buddy Penn is taking a dip. Yeah, go ahead and make the joke: “Hey Penn and Turner, do a magic trick…” Hardy-har-har. You wanna know what? I’ve been performing magic for your practice for about thirty years. Even when you had your hands all over me, never giving me a break. Still, I’ve been loyal, even with all the turnover. And the scratch-outs. Listen, I’m realistic—I know I haven’t been as productive lately. But poor Penn…you’ve bled him dry! Just let us go…I don’t even care about severance. I just want my dignity, and a little place in the country where I can write my memoirs.